


just hold my hand, please

by letslip



Category: S.W.A.T. (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, based on a prompt sent to me on tumblr, just the gays being soft once again because i am physically incapable of writing angst, mentions of a hate crime but never explicitly stated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24320545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letslip/pseuds/letslip
Summary: A year after the events of last year's pride, Chris can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen at this year's pride, one that Ellie has managed to rope her into attending.
Relationships: Christina "Chris" Alonso/Original Female Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	just hold my hand, please

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @swatlesbian for prompting this, I had a lot of fun writing it! I reblogged a post of writing prompts and asked people to send them to me, which is where this came from! (you can find the post here: https://chrisalonso.tumblr.com/post/618072312908005376/100-prompts-list-so-this-is-the-prompts-list-if)
> 
> prompt 96: "just hold my hand, please"
> 
> I decided to sort of base this a year after the events of s2e16 ("pride"), with Chris being scared of something along those lines happening again. But it's soft because I can't write angst oops.

A year after diffusing a hostage situation at a recording studio that then sparked a bunch of hate crimes in the city on the day of a pride parade hosted by a trans activist, Chris thinks she can be forgiven for having a bad feeling about this year's pride festival, and Ellie has somehow convinced Chris to go to LA Pride with her. Chris has been to LA Pride many times before - never with a partner - and every time, she's had nothing but positive experiences. But this time, she just can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. She knows it's irrational. After the events of last year, security at this year's parade will be heightened, so there's a very low chance of any major events happening that will ruin the festival. Hicks made sure of this after JP had expressed his concerns, which Chris was extremely grateful for. Hicks' connections with the city and the mayor's office meant that the parade would have a heightened police presence and a canvas of the area was planned to begin a few hours before the pride was due to begin.

Despite all of this, Chris still finds herself almost wishing for a catastrophic event to happen just so that 20-David will be called to it. The team is on call, but Hondo has been diverting calls to the other SWAT teams just to let his own team have some "well-earned R&R". Chris is grateful - on her on-call days, she generally tends to spend them with Ellie, walking Manny, their dog, or visiting family, or being lazy until she's called away. Chris just can't shake the dread, can't shake the lingering feeling that something bad is going to happen.

But Ellie is so excited to go - this is her first ever Pride. Ellie comes from a very traditional Hispanic family with rigid Catholic morals, and this meant Ellie had grown up in a homophobic environment. Naturally, it had taken her 20 years to come out, and a further 6 to feel comfortable enough with her sexuality to go to Pride. Ellie was 26 now, and since she had never attended a Pride festival, she's gone all out. She's bought pride flags for each of them - a bisexual flag for Chris and a lesbian flag for herself - and rainbow makeup, including face paints and stamps for their hands and faces.

Upon seeing this, and seeing Ellie's gleaming, happy face, Chris finds she would gladly sacrifice everything just to see Ellie like this.

Ellie is cross-legged on the floor of the living room, sorting through the various assorted rainbow items when Chris emerges from the bedroom. Ellie glances up, distracted by the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing, and has to do a double-take when she sees Chris's t-shirt. It's a gift from Street, one that says "I'M BI: why does a girl have to choose?". Ellie throws her head back in laughter, and Chris flushes as Ellie blatantly checks her out.

"Hot," Ellie remarks, giggling. "Come here," she gestures, holding her arms out towards Chris, who sits down next to her and leans into her embrace. Ellie can sense something is off, though, and wraps her arms around Chris's shoulders. Chris rests her head in the junction between Ellie's neck and shoulder, and they sit on the floor. holding each other, breathing for a moment. Chris begins to relax and eventually pulls away to tap Ellie on the nose, smiling when Ellie wrinkles her nose and turns away.

"Let me paint your flag for you," Chris offers, and Ellie hands her the paints and a picture of the flag. Ellie knows something is plaguing her girlfriend's mind, though, and asks as such.

“What’s up? You’re usually so excited when I agree to go somewhere with you.”

“You know what happened at LA Pride last year, right?”

“Yeah, there was a whole controversy with that radio show and you had to talk some guy out of shooting the host, right?”

“Yeah, there was a lot of outrage sparked by that. A lot of calls for retaliation, too.”

“Are you worried that that will happen this year?”

Chris finishes the flag, and Ellie wordlessly takes the paints back, switches them for the bisexual flag colours - pink, purple and blue - and begins delicately painting Chris’ cheek with them.

“I don’t know if that’s necessarily it, but I think it’s more the fear that something like that will happen again. Like, we’ve already had the Pulse nightclub shooting in Florida, and that was bad enough. But last year was a failed attempt. We managed to stop it, no one got hurt as far as I can remember, and I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen today.”

Ellie smiles sympathetically, and reaches for Chris’ hand. “Maybe it’s because you’re on call today.”

Chris laughs, swiping her thumb over the knuckles of Ellie’s right hand. She has a knack for getting to the root of a problem, even if Chris is unaware of the root herself. It never ceases to amaze her. “It could be.”

Ellie’s expression suddenly turns stony, more serious, and she drops her forehead to rest on Chris’s, careful not to smudge the paint decorating their cheeks. She lowers her gaze for a moment, as if picking her words carefully, before looking up again. “You run into crazy situations all the time, things I couldn’t even dream of, as if you own the damn place. You don’t bat an eyelid. What’s got you so worked up about pride?”

She’s right. “I think it’s because you’re there with me. When I’m on call, Hondo and the guys are with me, and sure, I care about them, but they can handle themselves - not that you can’t, guapa, because you totally could. You’d kick their asses with your wrestling skills before they could even raise their guns-”

“Chris. You’re deflecting.” Ellie admonishes. She appreciates the praise, but she needs Chris to communicate with her. Chris takes a breath, before speaking again.

“When I’m on call, I know you’re safe because you’re at home or at work or whatever, because you’re not holding a gun at me or my team, you’re not a hostage, I don’t have to worry about something happening to you because I know you’re safe. But because of what I’ve seen at work, I always plan for the worst outcome.”

“Like the doomsday scenario?”

“Yeah.” Chris turns her head to kiss the inside of Ellie’s wrist, where her hand rests on the nape of Chris’s neck. “I don’t know. Pride is so controversial, even now, so we’re exposing ourselves every time we so much as look at each other on the streets, which is totally fucking backwards.”

Ellie sighs and smiles a tight-lipped smile, turning their hands over and playing with Chris’s fingers. She seems to mull over whatever she wants to say next, pursing her lips and then releasing them before she speaks. “I get it. You put yourself in danger every day, and I’m in no way undermining your work as a part of SWAT, but everyone puts themselves in danger every day, no matter what job they do. We could literally die right now, in this house. It could go on fire or we could step outside and get struck by lightning or hit by a ten-tonne truck-”

Ellie is cut off by a sharp, surprised bark of laughter from Chris. “I’m never leaving the house again, if that’s the case. Oh my God, is this what goes on in your head on a daily basis?” She laughs, pushing Chris’ shoulder as she doubles over in laughter. 

“I’m serious. You do this badass shit all the time and you’re super comfortable with yourself. You’ve always owned your sexuality and identity for as long as I’ve known you. You can make it through the parade. Besides, you’re on call. You’ll have your badge and gun with you anyway, right?” Chris nods, and Ellie continues. “So worst case scenario, you get to flash that around. I’ve never seen you do that before, but I bet it’s super hot.”

“Oh, is that something you’re into?” Chris teases.

“I don’t know, maybe we’ll have to experiment.” Ellie tries to keep a straight face, but bursts out laughing after she says that. “Oh my God, I don’t mean that.”

“We’re having a serious conversation! Get your head out of the gutter, chiquita!” They laugh again, but eventually manage to compose themselves.

“But anyways,” Ellie chokes out, once she manages to pull herself together. “If anything bad does happen - and I highly doubt it will - you’ll have that for comfort, at least.”

Chris sobers, nodding. “Okay. Yeah. It’ll be fine. Just....” she stops, takes a breath, and leans forward to meet Ellie’s gaze. “Just hold my hand, please.”

“Of course, bonita.”

As Ellie predicted, everything is absolutely fine. No mass casualty events or anything that requires SWAT’s attention comes up, and they have the best time at the city’s pride festival. They dance, they laugh, they kiss, and they feel proud of their lives and everything that they, and their community have managed to accomplish. Chris feels immense relief when she sees the increased police presence manning the barriers, a few officers she’s seen in passing at work nodding at her and smiling when they recognise her, a flash of pride coursing through her veins. They celebrate being a part of the loveliest, kindest, brightest community Chris has ever had the pleasure of being a part of.

She almost forgets that she had been dreading going to Pride, wishing for something to require SWAT’s attention so that she could leave, until her and Ellie are lying in bed later that night, holding each other and enjoying being together (and also enjoying some food from Luca’s truck), when she’s called into work for a briefing. The second the phone rings, Chris groans in frustration and her head falls to Ellie’s shoulder, who laughs at Chris’ misfortune. Chris shushes her as she answers her phone, and Ellie leans on Chris’ shoulder, hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter, as whoever is calling relays information to her. She answers with a simple “got it, sir. I’m on my way.” She reluctantly pushes herself off of the bed, dropping down to kiss Ellie.

“Don’t get hit by a car or… struck by lightning or whatever while I’m gone.” she teases, her smile widening when Ellie rolls her eyes.

“Well, now I want to, just to spite you.” she deadpans. Chris walks to the bedroom door, takes a few careful steps backwards and flips Ellie off as she leaves. She drives towards downtown LA with the sound of Ellie’s happy laughter ringing in her ears.


End file.
